I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
Randomize
