found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
Randomize
