I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
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