this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
Randomize
