He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
Randomize
