She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
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