Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
I wish Morgan Freeman narrated my life.
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
Randomize