Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
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