why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
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