Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
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