He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
Randomize
