she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
Randomize
