i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
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