Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
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