What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Randomize
