Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
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