i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
Randomize
