You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
Randomize
