Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
Randomize
