If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
Randomize