when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
Church boner. Awkwardddd
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
