nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
She's the barista slut.
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
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