respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
Randomize
