I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
Randomize