Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
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