I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
I have peed in a lot of sinks
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