just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
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