he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
Randomize
