Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
Randomize
