I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
I want to fling myself into the sun
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
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