At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
Randomize
