My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize