is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
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