My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Randomize
