I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
Four minutes until I can fart!
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
Randomize
