no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
Randomize
