is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
Randomize
