gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
Randomize
