That's intense
He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
Randomize
