It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
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