I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
You know you need to hit the gym when you're not strong enough to get the cork outta the wine bottle. And you know you're a drunk when that's the only motivation to do exercises
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
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