BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
Help me help you realize you are a moron
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
Randomize
