R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
is it fun? or sober?
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
Randomize
