Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
The cop let us off with a warning because I had more Twitter followers than he did. The future is terrifying.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
