Sry I called you an 8
just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Randomize
