So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
Randomize
