we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
Im part way to drunk.
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
Randomize
