I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Randomize
