fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
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