you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
Randomize
