...so i touched it.
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
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