I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
false alarm, still single
Randomize
