I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
I looked at my own cervix.
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
Randomize