You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
Randomize
