1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
Just mADE A PArabola og urine
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
So vagazzling was a success
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
