Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
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