So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
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