you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
