Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
Randomize
