if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
My pussy is not your playground.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
Randomize
