He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
