I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
Randomize
