i barfeds in our rink
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
I need mimosas to revive my soul
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
Randomize
