I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
Randomize
