Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
being pregnant is like rehab
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
Randomize
