Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
You have to summon your inner elephant
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
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