Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
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