Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
When I'm drunk and can't pee, I sing my abc's in my head and try to pee before I get to pee. Last night I forgot to do it in my head
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
Randomize