Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
no you cant smoke seaweed
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
Randomize
