I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
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