Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
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