who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
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