i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
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