Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
Randomize
