I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
Next Halloween, remind me to find a different wingman. Walking out in your pirate costume talking like Captain Ahab while i was banging her and telling me I had to harpoon the white whale really pissed her off.
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
Randomize
